“My wife is such an idiot. How in the world she can think that I would be OK with her ex-husband moving into our in-law suite is beyond me. What, kind of idiot does she think I am? Clearly there a big gap between she and I about this.” Unsurprisingly, that was my client’s first reaction when his wife of 5 years told him she was thinking about it. In fact, most people would see such an idea as a significant threat. However, from another perspective, the idea was filled with all kinds of opportunities. The ex-husband was a good guy, a devoted father, and there were many ways he could help out around the house. Particularly, with his 15-year-old son (my client’s step son) who was active with sports and other extracurricular activities. The divorce was quite amicable and there was no bad blood between any of the people involved. As it turned out, having him move in proved to be a fabulous decision made possible by the willingness and ability of my client to shift his perspective from one of threat to one of opportunity.
From time to time, we all deal with conflicting opinions, ideas, desires, beliefs, and agendas. Sometimes we wrestle with insufficient knowledge, information, skills, or resources. Other times, we’re absolutely convinced we’re right about something only later to discover we were wrong.
All of the above are examples of “gaps.” Gaps are the cause of virtually all stress, confusion, conflict, failure, and under performance. They are also the driver of all competition, innovation, creativity, productivity, and growth.
If you want to maximize your success and the quality of your life,
maximize your ability to reconcile gaps.